On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
