So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
