either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
