Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
