great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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