So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
