remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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