I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
