i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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