My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
my poor anus
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
