Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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