Can Purell be used as lube?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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