I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
