can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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