Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
