I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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