I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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