she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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