he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Ketchup is God's man juice
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
