I wish life had little blips of pornography
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
