im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Michael Bay diarrhea
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
