i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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