R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
