i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
