Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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