how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
