I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
