So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
