yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
