Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
