I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You have to summon your inner elephant
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
