im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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