Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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