i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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