Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
