"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
