no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
