I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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