i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
pray to the hookup gods
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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