Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
