I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
