Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
