It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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