Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
