quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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