Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i think i have herpe
just one?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
