Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
