I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
