Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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