I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
